The ESTRONAUT Site
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| Libido and Menopause
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The Worry So you've just hit your 40s and you're worried. Will your sex drive suddenly disappear? Is everything downhill from here? Will you ever want to have sex again? Have no fear. The situation is not as dire as it may seem at first. Physical Factors Sexuality in the 40s need not have major drop-offs due to physical reasons. Most changes, if any, will be in the late forties. These changes are not so much defined by chronological age, but more by when the woman enters perimenopause and menopause, and what her individual experiences with these are. There can be an avoidance of sex secondary to vaginal dryness that may occur as a woman enters perimenopause and some drop-off in libido. This is due to declining estrogen and testosterone levels. A water-based lubricant, such as K-Y Jelly or Astroglide works nicely for simple dryness. Physicians are beginning to look at testosterone as part of hormone replacement. Psychological Factors Psychological or situational factors are prominent in the sexuality of women in their 40s. These can have a positive or negative effect. Stress, 'mid-life crisis' and 'sandwich generation' issues can decrease a woman's interest in sex simply by being the distractions that they are. Feelings of loss of attractiveness due to aging can also affect the sex drive negatively. The Good News On the positive side, as women pass through their forties, as they approach menopause, often feel more free sexually. This may be because women worried about the risk of pregnancy in earlier years, and now that the risk is diminishing, they enjoy sex more. Remember that the risk of pregnancy is not completely gone until menopause, so don't forget to use birth control. Even perimenopause/menopause works in mysterious ways. Many women have surges of hormones and thus are more interested in sex at various times. Also, don't forget that your partner of a similar age is getting older, too. There is still a tendency for women to consider themselves and be considered by their partner to be the cause of decreased frequency of sex. Both men and women will take longer to reach orgasm, and longer in between orgasms. If both partners accept this fact and change their sexual repertoire to accommodate it, sex can be enjoyed throughout this decade of life, and for many more decades beyond. |